So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
