she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
only you would photoshop your dick
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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