I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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