i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
