At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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