Non-Jews are for practice
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
