im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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