Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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