Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
