He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We left an ass print on the piano.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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