i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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