I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
