Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize