Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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