ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
