question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
