Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
