Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
