My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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