Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
