I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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