So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
