Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
