He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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