if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
