Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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