i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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