do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
