well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
