If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
