I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
