I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
