Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
