apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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