Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
