The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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