You really coming over, don't trick.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
