My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
