She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
