I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
