I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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