So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize