pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Lo siento on account of my penis...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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