Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm at about main and main street
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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