Cold hands, warm shart.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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