I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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