I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
