is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
