wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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