there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
