Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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