I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
