why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
