you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
