I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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