i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
