Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
