someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
