We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
